7 Essentials For A UIMSA Party

“…Omo, I was so surprised at how much fun everyone was having, see as our future doctors dey do…” There is a popular and widely accepted belief that medical students throw some of the wildest and craziest parties in universities. This is readily attributed to them relieving stress from their massive workload and boy do they know how to de-stress! For sure, not all medical students party, there are always the model medical students who do ‘MTN & TDB’ all the days of their undergrad lives and use their free time thinking about ways to fix our healthcare system or “insert cliché medical student extracurricular activity”. I’m not sure this piece might appeal to them.

This playbook however will sit perfectly with my brothers and sisters in revelry, who like to unwind in the legendary hot, dimly-lit and cramped up arena of debauchery- The Alexander Brown Hall Quadrangle. They will agree with me that these 7 resources are basically gold in any of Ibadan doctors and doctors-to-be raves.

  • ‘Liquid Courage’ (C²H⁵OH)

    This one goes without saying. I mean medical students are some of the smartest people on the planet, so what then will make them get so lost in the heat of passion that are open to willingly exchanging bacteria with a Gbenga or a Daniella in 2K1x/2K2x. The liquid courage is perfect for lowering inhibitions and gives the perfect excuse to be obedient boys and girls and obscenely yell “Gabii, I wanna party!!” when asked to.

    • Water

    This goes hand in hand with the lc. Many wrongly think we are talking about alcohol when we say “binge drinking”. However, that’s not the case. Water is a must-have for these kind of nights. It is very important you keep yourself hydrated, in fact it is one of the tricks used by the revelers to keep themselves from being totally s**t-faced. Rookies are not usually aware of this and by the next morning, body dey very much tell them.

    • A Light Snack

    Another rookie mistake you wouldn’t want to make is starting off the night on an empty stomach. Firstly, it automatically makes you enemies with the lc as it doubles – if not triples – the effect of the lc on your system. Secondly, it’s no secret that these parties continue deep into the night. It will be wise to have a quick snack during breathers to replenish energy. Also, even if you had something to eat before the party started, during the party, specific individuals move around the dance-floor to top you off either by pouring in your cup or just directly throating you and/or your partner.  It is therefore advisable you get something in your system before this second round of C²H⁵OH.  Examples of snacks that could be gotten before-hand are biscuits, chips or even a small sandwich.

    • Spare Clothing

    You might be wondering what you would need this for.  Don’t worry, no one is going to rip off the clothes you wear there. However, I cannot assure you that someone would not decide to bless you with their hurriedly swallowed gastric contents. You might vouch for yourself that you won’t mess yourself up? Sure. But do you really trust the decision of an overstressed medical student itching to make a bad decision with free flowing alcohol in his/her immediate vicinity?

    • A Handy Bag

    Emphasis on the “handy” as a tote bag or knapsack meets this criterion. All the aforementioned essentials should be able to fit into this bag, along with other personal effects such as face caps, glasses, keys e.t.c. You may lose your dignity before the next day, but you can, at the very least, keep your belongings.

    • A Charming and Imperturbable Personality

    The charm is for making friends. These parties are one of the easiest places to interact and make the realest friends since everyone – well, almost everyone- is relaxed and welcoming. Bros are always looking for more bros and baddies are always looking for more baddies.

    The imperturbability is so that you will not vex. From spilled drinks to a couple other things, a number of things may be thrown at you during the party. You must be ready forgive as we are one big family here. We like to share a lot, this includes if you by chance come with your ‘babe’ so if he/she is willing, you must be ready to forgive him/her the next morning when you guys resume being soulmates.

    • A Place to Rest Your Head

    I know you’re wondering ‘sleep ke?’ What happened to “until ward rounds calls”. Well, ward rounds usually ‘calls’ around 3AM, and from this time the party gradually comes to a lull. Some residents of ABH retire to their rooms to sleep or pick up their books, some others go to their rooms in male and female pairs to pick up where they left off ( this time, without all the voyeurism). For the fortunate Preclinical students who came all the way from UI and don’t have any friends with whom they can pass the night with, this is where the luxurious Famewo Common Room (FCR) comes in. It serves as a safe haven for this set of medical students, the lush double seats function as the bed and the whole package is complete with a host of angry mosquitoes.

    So, there you have it; a complete guide to the necessary essentials for a UIMSA party. See you at the next one; or not.

    Olokungbemi Gerald

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      2 thoughts on “7 Essentials For A UIMSA Party”

      1. As a frequenter of these parties I must say the list ticks every box. Can’t wait for the next! See you there Gerald.

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