On Feminism and Misandry II

An opposing view to this argument can be found here.

The period between 1789 and 1799 saw the French Revolution. The movement started with good intentions: to eliminate social inequality, to overthrow the monarchy and to promote the ideas of natural rights and popular sovereignty. Somewhere in the middle, however, radical Jacobin factions that promoted the idea of extreme republicanism rose, and suddenly execution of perceived enemies of the revolution was normalised. King Louis XVI and his wife, Queen Marie Antoinette, were executed, and the Reign of Terror began. This sounds a lot like the script feminism is following. All was fair and justified until radicalism became popularised. 

Remember when feminism meant marching for the right to vote and burning bras (or at least, you know, threatening to)? However, somewhere between “equal pay for equal work” and “all men are trash” Twitter threads, the conversation got really weird. Like, bizarro-world weird. It’s 2025, and feminism’s PR team needs a meeting. Here’s the hard truth: hating men doesn’t magically help women. It just makes you…well, a jerk with a hashtag.

And now, misandry is justified because women are usually the victims. While it is true that women are usually the victims, let’s be frank. Women kill, too. Yes, women can be violent. Women can be serial killers. Women can be monsters. It’s true, not fictional. Consider Elizabeth Báthory, who allegedly murdered over 600 young girls, bathing in their blood. More recently? Aileen Wuornos, Juana Barraza, and Dorothea Puente were all female serial killers with chilling victim counts. According to the FBI, around 16% of serial killers are female. That’s not nothing. And domestic violence? Studies show women initiate nearly as much intimate partner violence as men. In fact, one study showed 70.7% of non-reciprocal intimate partner violence cases were perpetrated by women only, but guess whose stories don’t make the headlines? Worse, men and babies have died at the hands of female partners, but it doesn’t fit the “patriarchy kills” narrative, so we ignore it. When women kill, society asks, “What made her snap?” When men kill, it’s, “Why are men so evil?” That’s not equality. That’s cognitive dissonance. 

Now, let’s get deeper into this double standard, shall we? When women publicly express hatred for men—whether it’s in memes, tweets, or activism—it’s defended as “valid anger,” “lived experience,” or “satire.” But flip the script and say anything critical about women as a group? That’s hate speech, and you’re toast. Here’s a tough pill: if misandry is protected speech, shouldn’t misogyny be, too? Or are we saying only one gender’s pain counts? Only one group gets to be angry?

Feminism’s Midlife Crisis: When Advocacy Goes Off the Rails

Let’s not kid ourselves. Feminism started as an absolute necessity. Wave one? Votes. Wave two? Jobs, classrooms and freedom from being a walking sandwich-maker. But now? This third wave feels like someone spiked the punch with grievance and clickbait. And before anyone gets salty—yeah, plenty of feminists just want fairness for everyone. But a loud chunk? They treat men like the final boss in a video game called “Smash the Patriarchy.” Sorry, but equality doesn’t mean “Women win, men lose.” That’s just lazy math. Whatever motion you move as a feminist, you must honestly judge whether you are not doing the exact thing the misogynists you hate so much are doing. 

Are you a feminist or do you just hate men? Let’s play “Is it feminism or misandry?” Consider these:

• Someone says men shouldn’t have to register for the military draft, and you roll your eyes? That’s not equality, chief.
• You want women in tech, but not in, like, sewer maintenance or logging? Next.
• Cancel a guy for a joke, but laugh off “kill all men” memes? Newsflash, that’s just sexism with eyeliner.
• If “all men are rapists” gets a giggle, but “women are bad drivers” gets you clutching your pearls, maybe you should check your bias settings.

Perhaps, many radical feminists today are experiencing an identity crisis. 

Mummy Zee and the Culinary Crime of Kindness

Let’s pause and revisit a little Twitter storm that should have made everyone stop and think, but instead turned into a modern-day witch trial.

Mummy Zee, a Nigerian woman, innocently tweeted that she wakes up early to cook for her husband. Gasp. You’d think she had tweeted “I sacrifice goats in my backyard” based on the reaction. The backlash was swift, brutal, and wildly hypocritical. She was called a pick-me, a slave, brainwashed, and all sorts of lovely adjectives—just for being nice to her spouse.

Now flip it. Imagine a man tweeted, “I wake up at 4 am every day to cook for my wife before she heads to work.” The comments? “King behaviour.” “Husband material.” “This is the bare minimum!” and of course, “As he should.”

So what’s the message here? That love and care are only admirable when men perform them? That women showing respect to their partners is a betrayal, but men doing it is proof of moral enlightenment? If feminism turns into bullying women for their personal choices, especially ones rooted in mutual love and respect, then we’re not empowering women. We’re policing them under a new flag with just as much condescension.

Third-Wave: Where Logic Goes to Die

Third-wave feminism is like when Tumblr, Twitter, and a college gender studies class had a caffeine-fueled group project and nobody proofread it. Intersectionality sounds nice until it’s used to justify why women should do STEM but never, say, sewage or oil rigs. Show me a third-wave icon lining up for a job in coal mining. I’ll wait. Spoiler: I’ll be waiting a while.

What started as a push for fairness turned into a weird contest of who is more oppressed. And the prize is… what, exactly? Bragging rights? A BuzzFeed article?

Another component of third-wave feminism that we have seen is the attempt to eliminate masculinity. We have seen people who know nothing about science claim that masculinity is a social construct that has nothing to do with the natural wiring of the gender. Warra joke! Suddenly, women want men to be femboys or whatever that is. Yes, we have seemingly effeminate men. However, pushing the propaganda of global effeminism is just weird. Nothing more, nothing less. Boys are being told their masculinity is toxic before they even understand what it is. We don’t teach them to channel strength responsibly; we tell them to suppress it entirely. And then we wonder why they collapse under pressure, lash out, or disappear.

We seem to have misplaced empathy. Look around you. Suicide rates? 3 men to 1 woman, but where’s the outrage? Boys falling behind in literacy? Yep. When girls started struggling in school, we built entire movements around it. Now, boys are floundering, and what do we get? Shrugs and a “well, patriarchy’s tough, huh?” Say something like “boys are falling behind in literacy” in an activist space, and watch everyone suddenly remember an urgent email. Men mocked for crying or opening up? Still happening. Family court bias? Ask any divorced dad. Ask why moms get custody almost every time, or the logic of how women get half of their divorced partners’ assets, and suddenly, you’re the enemy. Yeah, that’s fair.

We’ve taken masculinity and turned it into a punchline. Then we blame men when they’re silent, bitter, or broken. You can’t emasculate a gender for decades and act shocked when they struggle to show up. This isn’t progress. It’s gaslighting. 

We must remember that men aren’t dying for fun! Maybe let’s try a little empathy before we start passing out blame like free samples at Costco. As much as we must pay attention to the real struggles of women, we must not ignore the troubles men go through. It’s tough for men, too. We thought feminism was all about equality, but now, it’s more like a “women over men” scheme. Equality is not a see-saw! Let’s have a real talk. Feminism is about equality, not revenge. You don’t balance the scales by screwing over the other side. That’s not justice, that’s just pettiness.

When guys open up about depression or abuse, suddenly, it’s “toxic masculinity, your problem.” Imagine flipping that—telling women their trauma is just “toxic femininity.” People would riot. 

What does third-wave feminism offer men? For cis straight men, third-wave feminism often feels like a locked door. The movement expanded to cover issues like LGBTQ+ rights and abortion access—important to many, but not universally shared. At the same time, it’s painted cis men as inherently privileged, if not outright oppressive.

If you are a cis straight male, then according to intersectional feminists, this type of individual is supposedly very privileged and is oppressing those who are not cis, straight, or male, almost by default.

The result? Even well-meaning men feel pushed out. People support causes when they’re invited in—not when they’re treated like villains for existing. If equality’s the goal, inclusion has to go both ways.

Time to talk about those hashtags, #MenAreTrash, #KillAllMen. You know, stuff that would get you cancelled in a nanosecond if you swapped “men” for “women”. “Oh, it’s just a joke!” Sure, it is. Until the target changes. Then it’s suddenly hate speech, and the thinkpieces start flying. There’s a double standard so big you could park a Tesla in it. Men’s pain? Punchline. Men standing up for themselves? “Toxic!” Sweet deal, huh?

Let’s get real for a second (and cut the lecture tone). If your idea of liberation is just flipping the script and giving men hell, you’re not a revolutionary—you’re just bitter with access to the internet. That’s not the future anyone sane wants. Feminism is supposed to be about everyone having a fair shake. Not ‘Queen Mother of the WhatsApp Feminist Council’ vibes, where cooking for your husband is treason and every man is one tweet away from being labelled a predator. So maybe, just maybe, drop the misandry and pick up some actual empathy. The world’s got enough anger already.

Conclusion

In the end, the real question isn’t whether feminism is still needed. It’s what kind of feminism we want it to be; one that uplifts all genders with empathy, or one that swings the pendulum so far it knocks sense out of the room? Because if your version of equality comes with a pitchfork, a superiority complex, and a meme folder full of “men are trash,” then maybe—just maybe—you’re not seeking justice. You’re just dressing up resentment in activist clothing. You must choose your brand of equality carefully. 

Yes, the patriarchy has done damage. Yes, women have faced real, painful inequality. But if the only way forward is to trade one set of prejudices for another, we haven’t progressed—we’ve just rebranded the oppression. So, reader, here’s your moment of judgment: Is feminism still about equality, or is it just a more socially acceptable excuse to hate men? That’s not a rhetorical question. You decide. Just don’t forget your empathy on the way out.

Oyeyinka Ojora (Contributor)